We were put on this planet as one, one human being. To live, strive & thrive. Yet we find it so damn hard to prioritise ourselves. I see so many women in both my professional & personal life that regard doing something for themselves as “self-indulgent”. Don’t get me wrong, I used to think like this too. That was until I became a shell of a person – I therefore had to make a shift.
I have this deep calling within me to unpack this way of thinking. To prevent women from running on empty, teaching them that there is another way to live, a better way. In order to make this shift, we first need to understand the following:
- Looking after yourself is what life is all about. It is not selfish. It is mandatory. Repeat after me…”Looking after myself is not selfish; it is mandatory.” You see life is for living, for having fun, for feeling good, for giving from a full tank. I am perplexed that somewhere along the line life became about being busy, stressed, hustling & trying to please everyone around us, except ourselves.
- Work out what you value most in life. For me it is optimal physical & mental health, soulful relationships, having fun, new experiences, being passionate about what I do on a daily basis, and financial freedom to live the life I desire. The common thread to living a life according to your values, whatever they may be, is being the best version of yourself. We are not going to feel good, passionate, attract amazing people or opportunities into our life, & be role models to our children, if we don’t fuel ourselves first.
I’m not for a second going to pretend that prioritizing ourselves is simple. It’s quite the opposite – it’s a daily feat. I find this especially the case for mums. The “mummy guilts” set in if they do something that takes them away from their child. To help you embark on your self-care journey, regardless of your situation, here are 2 things you must remember:
1. Like anything, prioritizing yourself takes practise. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. And yes, those feelings of guilt will come over you, the ego will say “you shouldn’t be having this bath, you have a child/work to do/washing to fold”. It will likely feel uncomfortable to begin with, wrong even. But remember you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t react this way. The key is to do it anyway.
2. Be disciplined. Push through the barriers you create for yourself & make time for self-care every single day. Even if it is only 5 minutes. To help you be disciplined, schedule it in your diary. Block off time first thing in the morning before the household wakes or during your lunch-break or instead of binge watching Netflix at night! We all have the time, it’s what we do with it that matters.
Filling yourself up with whatever your mind/body needs on any given day, is far from selfish, it is absolutely necessary. It gives us the fuel to resonate at a higher frequency and give wholeheartedly to those we love.
So, I ask one thing of you – grab your diary right now & block off time for yourself each day this week. This might be a meditation, a walk, reading a chapter of your book, jumping into the ocean, having a bath or scheduling in a massage. What you do is completely up to you – do what relaxes you, recharges you, what makes you feel good from the inside out.
Tell me in the comments below – what are you going to do to prioritise yourself?